May 14, 1997

17 years ago I met the first person I ever truly fell in love with. For many years today made me sad, wondering "what if?" and questioning how I could've screwed up something so perfect.

It took a long time to realize and accept that things just weren't meant to be. Too much distance between us, too much youth and naiveté on my part and too much bad history counting against me on hers. It was glorious and beautiful while it lasted though.

Being completely consumed by someone (and more importantly having it reciprocated) is the most amazing thing in the world. Everything that's happened since then has been a fruitless effort to recapture that feeling. It's not a knock on anyone else, and every relationship is different and great in it's own way, but there's nothing that will ever compare to your first love.

This song was playing on Thunder 94 that night as she climbed into a cab and I experienced what it was like to kiss someone for the first time that I was already in love with. It had only taken a few hours, and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Kathleen, wherever you may be, thank you for still making me smile almost 20 years later.