The fact this was the most read post I've ever written is both sad and enlightening. I promise I'm really not a constant downer of despair and depression. It happens yes. More often than I like. Lately though against all odds I've done a hell of a better job of dealing with it.
I'm not a religious person, and eastern religions are just as suspect to me as bible belt Christianity. However I did quite a bit of reading on Buddhism and meditation in particular after my last near breakdown. While I'm not ready to shave my head and move to a temple, the daily act of relaxation mixed with contemplation and expunging the nagging thoughts in my head has made a world of difference.
Anger, jealousy, depression and insecurity are all (unfortunately) natural human feelings. It's letting them get the best of you that's when the problem begins. Taking 10 minutes a day to close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and remind yourself of what's really important and how many people actually do love you is something I wish I'd started 20 years ago.
The more I study depression the more I realize how similar it is to drug addiction. You're never cured. You just happened to not do drugs that day. The next day is a totally new mountain to climb. Today I didn't contemplate suicide or question my worth. I didn't yesterday either. Will I tomorrow?
For the first time ever I like my odds.