2 months after proudly stating 2015 was going to be different, it only took a couple of days to drag me back into the nightmare that can be my own mind.

A combination of being made to feel like a failure at the most important job I'll ever have along with those always present and ready to creep back in feelings of inadequacy and my complete lack of self esteem buried me for a good 72 hours over the last 7 days.

Maybe I was foolish to think this year would be any different? Other than motivation I had no reason to believe anything had changed. I just hadn't been challenged yet. I finally was, and I lost. Again.

Actually no, I didn't lose. I woke up this morning. I'm here. I'm writing this. I'm plotting tonight's 'Hair Metal Monday'. The show keeps on going no matter how much it hurts sometimes.

To quote the always amazing Manic Street Preachers (from the song that this post is named after):

"All I want to do is live, no matter how miserable it is."