The Anti-Charlotte's Web

So, my back porch spider friend from a couple of months ago. I promised myself I was going to kill him last week after another 8 legged visitor made it into my living room. Thinking about it though, me and him were ok. We’d had an understanding. He only showed up after I was done going outside for the night and was gone by the time I got up in the morning, leaving his web as the only clue he was ever there. The last couple of nights I noticed he’d been showing up earlier and earlier. Then this morning he was still there when I went to take Rex out, causing me to have to use the leash and take him in the front yard. A pain in the ass but no big deal. Tonight though as we were in the back yard, and it wasn’t even 7 yet, I saw him descend down and start making his web. Effectively blocking me in the yard, as my fence was locked from the other side. Decision time. With a swift hit of a broom and a couple of stomps from a size 11 boot, he met a violent demise. In the brief few seconds between hitting the ground and getting smashed into oblivion, I imagined his little spider mind thinking “BRO! WHAT THE HELL MAN? I THOUGHT WE WERE COOL”. Sorry dude, it had to be done.